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| i took another trip down memory lane and re-read old xanga entries. in conclusion, i was a very grumpy, home-sick, and puppy-love stricken teenager. i think every entry was either about andrew or texas. well shoot, it's going to be my last year (semester) at berkeley and i'm going to be happy :D (like the face) and do many memorable things. speaking of which, at dinner tonight when talking to all of my out-of-state friends, apparently no one wants to go back to texas. whaaaat...maybe i need to re-think things and maybe stay out in california...probably not the bay though (yuck).
i'm home right now, about to start school in a couple of days. it's nice that my parent's and my relationship has evolved into something good. we're in a good place right now, even though i don't call them (as much as my sister does) we can have a good conversation w/o it spiraling into some dramatic argument.
looking back on my junior year, i'm pretty satisfied with it. i finally started to go out and do things. met new and got closer to work people (non-asians, yay!) and became kind of obsessed with food b/c my roomie is a foodie. i learned how to cook vegetables and manage money. although my parents think that i have bank in the bank...when i dont........
speaking of money. however superficial this sounds, sometimes i wish my friends were richer. lol focus on "sometimes". it's hard to not worry about your own finances when everyone else around you is crying about how broke they are. i mean i am definitely guilty for busting out the "damn i'm poor", but in my what if land...there is no having to care about owing people money or struggling to find free stuff to do or maybe even having a generous rich friend that treats you to things. better yet, a generous, rich boyfriend that takes you out on extravagant escapades. oh well, i guess i could invest in stock and take my own damn self out.
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| it's crazy how time flies by so quickly. i'm listening to Jack Johson's Inaudible Melodies right now - i first heard this song because my sister bought his CD. That was when she still lived in houston...and when i still had my accord. I'm almost going to be an upperclassman = ) ... in undergrad haha.
so i'm really into swimming right now. the weather has been amazing this whole week - the sun is out and the water is extremely clear. I love feeling of being in tune with the movements of my body. Following my arm stroke all the way down and through the water. Lately I've been pushing to see how long I can go without breathing - 11 strokes. The calmer I am, the farther I can swim. Something about swimming and then getting out and lying in the sun - face covered of course (no freckles) is what makes me feel relaxed and forget about everything around me. Not saying my life is too hectic at the moment...haha i just sat around at work - not working or getting paid for a good 1.5 hours.
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| Lately my life has been very heavily centered on favors. Not only with friends but with d. You know, I really hope that I portray myself as a person who will always pay you back or make it up to you. I find it really frustrating when I can't ask close friends for favors. I mean, I understand it's fucking annoying - i only have a few friends that i would openly ask for favors and since it's only the few of us we just wear each other out by giving so much. but still...i would much rather ask someone close to me than someone that isn't. and i find it really irritating when my close friends make it hard on me and i have to feel even more guilty asking someone who isn't as close. even with d, it's come down to the point where he makes me feel guilty for doing things for him just because of this whole point system. i'm REALLY FRUSTRATED and kind of disappointed secretly.
i seriously can't wait to settle down and have a family. i mean, my family will never make me feel shitty for being in need. really...if my husband says i owe him money - i'm going to divorce him.
A+ for my classic midterm = ). YAY at least i'm not failing the easy classes lol.
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| i am really not a fan of this new xanga layout. forserious...it really confuses me. why does everything have to mold itself to be like facebook? it gets so confusing and facebook will always win. i wonder what will be the winner in the future...asianavenue...blogger...xanga...myspace...mehe i was caught in all of those fads.
so...my phone is broken. it is broken in the sense that i can't hear anything unless i put it on speakerphone. apparently this is a common trend for razors...go figure. it is extremely embarrassing when i'm talking on the phone in public, people think i'm some tool that does this stuff on purpose. i think i associate speakerphone with fobs. they are generally the only people i see who talk on the phone in public in this manner. yeup...only 2 more months and i get a new phone = ) yea i'll probably get some shitty samsung - whatevs
life is not so great right now. i suddenly am not getting good grades again. and i feel like i'm falling apart. haha whatever. i hate the feeling that i am stepping on eggshells. it really bothers me...i mean...i feel like it is extremely unnecessary and i want to go to sleep.
we don't have cable anymore and now i really have nothing to do. i just finished my first round of midterms and really...i have nothing to do. i've been trying to get into the you-tubing business...but iono...i can't search for my own videos i need people to send me links!
i think that.........people will never change. shiet i haven't changed since forever, well maybe i got meaner and grumpier...but really...in the end...no one changes.
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| i appreciate the little things.
- when my mom changed the toilet roll
- when my sister got a new bar of soap when there's only a sliver left
- christina ma closing the door after we walk into my house or garage
- houston humidity that kept my dry skin, semi-not dry
- people commenting on my xanga...i used to be really popular heh
- being called just to be checked up on.
- when someone stares...in a good way
YAY someone took my notebook but is returning.
i appreciate not bad people.
and not stealing.
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